Letting Go of Control:
MN Junior conquers anorexia
February 11, 2015
In-Depth, The Hoofbeat
In-Depth, The Hoofbeat
Sharp pulses of adrenaline pump through the veins. All energy and focus is occupied with concerns about weight and size. It feels as if the brain is constantly at war with the body. Fatigue and dizziness are now a part of everyday life. Emotional and social anxiety are always at their peaks and it feels like the constant pressure is going to cause a crumble.
This is what it feels like when the brain is confined by an eating disorder. However, recovery is possible. MN Junior Julie Donald has successfully battled and conquered eating disorders.
“For me, it started near the end of track season during freshman year. There was a lot of stress and pressure there, which definitely contributed to the problem. I felt like if I was smaller, I’d be faster, and I’d do better. It was a control thing,” Donald said.
Eating disorders are characterized by extreme emotions, attitudes, and behaviors surrounding weight and food issues. According to the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA), they usually appear in situations of high anxiety or stress, and of ten come with devastating complications and effects.
“I would check my weight several times a day, and that was all I was focused on. It was a lot of calorie counting, taking laxatives, and doing whatever I could to gain control. I ended up losing a lot of weight. I knew it was wrong, but I just refused to think about the negative aspects,” Donald said.
Eating disorders create a veil where patient becomes preoccupied or obsessed with thoughts about food and weight. Similar to other mental conditions, eating disorders can lead to low self-esteem, depression, or detachment from personal relationships.
“External problems become worse when the eating disorder takes control of you. My grades started plunging. I became more introverted. I was completely and only focused on my weight,” Donald said.
In peak times of the disorder, family and friends usually experience feelings of distance or discomfort. But family and friends are essential to support in the fight against eating disorders.
“When she started talking about how she felt, I knew she was having unhealthy thoughts and something was wrong. She wasn’t herself anymore. I tried to provide as much helpful encouragement as I could, but it was hard to do. I wanted to do anything I could to help her gain courage,” Donald’s friend Kathy Chambers said.
It’s difficult to understand what it feels like to experience the symptoms of eating disorders. Unlike traditional notions, e a t i n g disorders are not a l w a y s predicated upon wanting to be thinner.
“There’s this awful myth that having an eating disorder means you think you’re fat. It’s generally different for all people, but for me it was about control,” Donald said.
Feeling a lack of control is often what drives the eating disorder. This lack of control and attempts to fix it cause negative effects to life, happiness, and concentration skills.
“I felt powerful having control of how I eat, how much I eat, and how much I weigh. If I could control my weight, I could control everything else. Every day was a battle of control that consumed me. I thought it was something I could control, but it ended up controlling me,” Donald said.
Counselors and experts have determined that letting go of this control is the hardest thing to do in the treatment process. Early diagnosis and professional intervention are key to recovery. “
I was at an extremely rough point in my life when I went to the hospital, but I’m glad I did. It made me realize that I’m not the only one. Just seeing the look on my family’s face when they saw me the first night at the hospital was something I never want to see again,” Donald said.
NEDA has determined that these mental illnesses create refusal within patients to accept that what they’re doing is dangerous and harmful, despite warning from family or friends. Friends should create space to medical help and allow the patient to mediate their problem.
“You can’t have other people fix it for you, you have to fix it for yourself—which is a tough realization. It’s a process of mediation. Problems with mental health won’t disappear, but you can find coping strategies to mediate them,” Donald said.
The most important part of the recovery process is continued support from those closest to the patient. “I did whatever I could to guide her out of the darkness into the light, because I had faith in her. I knew she had to get better,” Chambers said.
The most effective and longlasting treatment is personalized counseling coupled with careful attention to medical and nutritional needs. The path to recovery is about realizing the importance of being healthy and remembering that getting better is only a few steps away.
“I realized that being healthy is worth so much more than that the control you thought you have. I thought I was in power but I wasn’t. Once I overcame it, I felt so much better. I felt powerful in the end,” Donald said.
*Names have been changed
This is what it feels like when the brain is confined by an eating disorder. However, recovery is possible. MN Junior Julie Donald has successfully battled and conquered eating disorders.
“For me, it started near the end of track season during freshman year. There was a lot of stress and pressure there, which definitely contributed to the problem. I felt like if I was smaller, I’d be faster, and I’d do better. It was a control thing,” Donald said.
Eating disorders are characterized by extreme emotions, attitudes, and behaviors surrounding weight and food issues. According to the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA), they usually appear in situations of high anxiety or stress, and of ten come with devastating complications and effects.
“I would check my weight several times a day, and that was all I was focused on. It was a lot of calorie counting, taking laxatives, and doing whatever I could to gain control. I ended up losing a lot of weight. I knew it was wrong, but I just refused to think about the negative aspects,” Donald said.
Eating disorders create a veil where patient becomes preoccupied or obsessed with thoughts about food and weight. Similar to other mental conditions, eating disorders can lead to low self-esteem, depression, or detachment from personal relationships.
“External problems become worse when the eating disorder takes control of you. My grades started plunging. I became more introverted. I was completely and only focused on my weight,” Donald said.
In peak times of the disorder, family and friends usually experience feelings of distance or discomfort. But family and friends are essential to support in the fight against eating disorders.
“When she started talking about how she felt, I knew she was having unhealthy thoughts and something was wrong. She wasn’t herself anymore. I tried to provide as much helpful encouragement as I could, but it was hard to do. I wanted to do anything I could to help her gain courage,” Donald’s friend Kathy Chambers said.
It’s difficult to understand what it feels like to experience the symptoms of eating disorders. Unlike traditional notions, e a t i n g disorders are not a l w a y s predicated upon wanting to be thinner.
“There’s this awful myth that having an eating disorder means you think you’re fat. It’s generally different for all people, but for me it was about control,” Donald said.
Feeling a lack of control is often what drives the eating disorder. This lack of control and attempts to fix it cause negative effects to life, happiness, and concentration skills.
“I felt powerful having control of how I eat, how much I eat, and how much I weigh. If I could control my weight, I could control everything else. Every day was a battle of control that consumed me. I thought it was something I could control, but it ended up controlling me,” Donald said.
Counselors and experts have determined that letting go of this control is the hardest thing to do in the treatment process. Early diagnosis and professional intervention are key to recovery. “
I was at an extremely rough point in my life when I went to the hospital, but I’m glad I did. It made me realize that I’m not the only one. Just seeing the look on my family’s face when they saw me the first night at the hospital was something I never want to see again,” Donald said.
NEDA has determined that these mental illnesses create refusal within patients to accept that what they’re doing is dangerous and harmful, despite warning from family or friends. Friends should create space to medical help and allow the patient to mediate their problem.
“You can’t have other people fix it for you, you have to fix it for yourself—which is a tough realization. It’s a process of mediation. Problems with mental health won’t disappear, but you can find coping strategies to mediate them,” Donald said.
The most important part of the recovery process is continued support from those closest to the patient. “I did whatever I could to guide her out of the darkness into the light, because I had faith in her. I knew she had to get better,” Chambers said.
The most effective and longlasting treatment is personalized counseling coupled with careful attention to medical and nutritional needs. The path to recovery is about realizing the importance of being healthy and remembering that getting better is only a few steps away.
“I realized that being healthy is worth so much more than that the control you thought you have. I thought I was in power but I wasn’t. Once I overcame it, I felt so much better. I felt powerful in the end,” Donald said.
*Names have been changed
2016 Nebraska High School Press Association State Qualifier for In-Depth Coverage